Hello, Harry! A Musical
by Neveryoumined
Summary: A terrible musical parody! Taking place somewhere after HBP, it seems, but may contain spoilers of all seven books. Prepare for something crazy and random, that's meant to be stupid! Or mock-stupid.


The scene was quiet, as figures could be visible, until a blast of green light of the Dark Mark, illuminated the area with a birght-green hugh.

"Domo-avato-kadavro," Shouted Snape, in the center, "Princey half-bloodo! Professor Severus Snepey!"

"_Domo-avato-kadavro, Princey Half-bloodo_!" Sang the Death Eater backup, revealing themselves from behind rocks, all in masks, "_Professor Severus Snapey_!"

They all started hitting their wands on their creepy underground layer, keeping time, as Draco played the keyboard, looking angsty, as Snape began walked forward.

"_Domo-avato-kadavro_," Snape sang, "_Princey half-bloodo. Domo. Domo_-"

But was interrupted by someone miles away, singing a very different song. In Le Borrow.

"_Bad speling_," Sang Harry, in tune of Living Daylights, "_And grammar goin'. Songs that entertain only those that know em'. You set your hopes up to see somethin' rad, a fanfic can entrain in the waaaaaay iiiiit's baaaaaaaaaaad_!"

Ron approached.

"_Here comes the moment when the songfic has done it's deeeeed._" He sang, "_Three-hundred thousand HP fics, this is the one they reaaaaad. I've been waiting long, for someone to meet our neeeeed. To save the bad-writing,_"

"Bad Grammar, and!" Added Harry.

"_And let it never fade awaaay!_" They both sang, "_Ohhh, Ohhh, Oh-oh!_" _Musical Fanfics!_"

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

More green lights were flying, as the Death Eaters started banging drums and bases.

"I'm not a Death Eater!" Snape sang, passing around, as Death Eaters danced eerily with other Death Eaters, "I'm not a killer! I'm not what you see! I'm just a wizard, whose, circumstances, lead him beyond crucio! Beyond crucioooo! Beyond cruciooooooo!"

Some of the Death Eaters exchanged looks, a little surprised Snape could sing this high.

Meanwhile, away from the ranch...

Hermione had gone downstairs.

"_Boys, I've noticed you_," She sang, pointing a finger at them.

"_Noticing you singing!_" , Harry and Ron sang, too, pointing a finger at Hermione.

"_From across the room, I can hear it, and can't stop myself from listenin'_." Hermione continued.

"_Noticed you_," They sang.

"_Noticing you singing!_" She continued.

"_I've seen this type of fic before, it's a-_"

"_Musical!_"

"_We're in a-_"

"_Musical!_"

"_We're in a-_"

"_Songfic! Of sorts, yeah!_ _It's a-_"

"_Musical_!"

"_Startin' to kinda_-"

"_Pointless, too!_"

"_Cause it's a_-"

"_Bad one! Yeah!_"

Meanwhile, cutting away, again, something was changing on the ranch.

"_The time has come, to perform my taaask!_" Sang Snape, "_To remove the Death Eater maaaask!_"

He had been holding a Death Eater masked, and now flung it away. The other Death Eaters looking at each other in confusion, singing '_Secret! Secret! He's got a secret!_'.

"_I am Dumbledore's man!_" Sang Snape, drawing out two wands, sending curses everywhere, shocking the Death Eaters, since this wasn't in the script.

"_I'm kill Tom!_" Snape shouted, "_Kill Tom! Kill Tom! Kill Tom!_"

Meanwhile...

"Harry!" Hermione said, "What are we going to do? We're in a musical!"

"Uh, sing?" Harry asked.

"I suppose it's better than winding up in a one-shot tragedy." Said Ron.

"Oh, shut up, both of you." Hermione said.

"I was only looking at the bright side, Mione." Ron said, "I mean, from a certain point of view, _the raindrops keep falling on my head_... huh?"

"We better be careful," Said Harry, "Or it might be_ going down, down!_"

"Why are there so many songs at once?" Asked Hermione, "From what I've read about songfics, they usually have only one _super-lisious_, and the character's normally don't _have a sexy back!_"

Harry and Ron blinked.

"That was creepy, Mione." Said Ron.

"_Watch out, boy, she'll chew you up!_" Sang Harry.

"I had a theory." Siad Hermione.

"_No one can tell us we're wrooong!_" Ron sang.

"What?" Asked Harry.

"Well," Said Hermione, "What if we're at a part where-"

"_I was made to kill Voldemort_," Sang Harry, "_Kill him, and sell his horocruxes to Walmart, yeah, Heeeeeeey! Heeeeeeey! Hey!_"

"As I was saying," Said Hermione.

"_I see brooms that a brown,_" Sang Harry, again, "_House Elves giving me crowns. Hogwarts and it's train, Death Eaters and Voldemight. And I think to myself, what a magical wooorld!_"

"As I was saying," Said Hermione.

"_Hey, you! Hey, you!_" Sang Ron, "_I don't like your grilfriend! No way, no way, think Ginny should leave ya!_"

Hermione cleared her throat.

"As I was saying," She said, "What if we're in some kind of DJ mix, and-"

"_I just can't wait to kill you-know-who_!" Sang Harry, "_I just can't wait to kill old Volde_! _This just can't be_ _can't be a false prophecy!_"

"Anyway," Said Hermione, "What if it's like a DJ is torturing us with random songs, and it's like one of those-"

"_Remix!_" Shouted Ron.

"Exactly." Said Hermione, "What if it's like one of those 'DJ Grooves', and we're just in a random mix of-"

"_They sang the ballad of Voldemort_!" Sang Harry, "_The one their still talkin' bout! And he's bad, bad, You-Know-Who! Baddest wizard, you ain't got no clue! Badder than ol' Kreacher, meaner than a Snape when a teacher!_"

"Nevermined." Said Hermione.


End file.
